1,2,3,4… 30

Thump…

That’s all she heard, she raised her sleepy head, and suddenly a rush of blood flew quick through her veins and her entire body.

She can hear his name being called through his phone, “_______, are you okay?”

Call the police she yelled to the receiver hoping she’d hear, “Call the police!”

“What did you take?” she screamed, “what did you take?”

He couldn’t understand her. Not anymore than she could understand him.

She screamed, as she dropped the phone. The conversation she was having hung from her thigh with the voice of another “friend,” that, had she listened, was telling her what was wrong with him.

“Oh god, what the fuck did you take! Oh god, oh god, oh god!”

“Help! Somebody help me!” Her voice cracked, as she screamed to the top of her lungs.”

“My brother, my brother, something is wrong with my brother…” she said into the receiver of her phone.

She hung up the phone, and then dialed 9-1-1

Time didn’t stop, but, it moved very slow.

She could see the room spinning…

“Get yourself together K, you have to save him!” she yelled mentally.

She could barely make up her words, she tried to tell the dispatcher something serious was wrong…

The dispatcher had heard her, “I know mam, we just received a call, police is on the way, can you confirm the address…”

“east… yeah east”

“Mam, we need you to calm down please, he is most likely having a seizure.”

“He isn’t breathing! He isn’t breathing! He is purple! His lips, his face, he’s purple!”

She drops the phone…

“CPR! I know CPR, Iv’e known CPR since I was 15…”

“What is the count? What is the fucken count!?”

“Oh god, Oh god, Moooooommmmm pllllleeassseeee!”

push 1, push 2, push 3, push 4, push 5, push 6, push 7, push 8, push 9, push 10, push 11, push 12, push 13, push 14, push 15…

Tilt, Blow. Blow.

“No! It’s fucken 30!” she yelled, mentally.

“What the fuck did you take? Moooommmmm!”

Push 1, push 2, push 3, push 4, push 5, push 6, push 7, push 8, push 9, push 10, push 11…

tears running down her face, she can not believe this is happening…

“Why would this happen?,” she thought.

“No way is he going like this…” she mumbled mentally.

“Mom, I freaken need you, pleaseee!”

Push 12, push 13, push 14, push 15, push 16, push 17, push 18, push 19, push 20, push 21, push 22, push 23, push 24, push 25, push 26, push 27, push 28, push 29, push 30

Tilt, BLOW and… BLOW.

GASP, he rises and tries to lean forward.

Siiggghhhh, “Thank you mom,” she whispered as her tears fell into her mouth.

“No, no, no don’t move please, don’t move…” she told him…

She ran out and yelled, “Help! Someone one please help me!”

Flash lights coming through, police walked up, walked in, and took over.

She was cold, and at the same time sweaty.

She was scared, and at the same time proud.

She was worried.

“Can you hug me?,” she asked as she stood outside with someone.

“Can you please just hug me very tight?”

Heart beating fast, breathing oh, so, difficult.

Anxiety expanding and spreading through her body.

Body felt like collapsing…

Officer, “Are you the mother? Can I speak to you? What happen?”

1,2,3,4,5 … breathe.

-Kbeautfiulmind

New Year

It’s been a while.

I abandoned my blog a bit, I been so caught up in the lifestyle of social media, school books, fake news, and whatever chaos my family has to offer me as my weekly dosage.

I am so tired, not necessarily sleepy (although I can use more sleep) but, just tired.

I can use a vacation.

I can use a break.

But, here we are, new year, got to hustle and push through.

Hello, 2019… sigh.

Well, I pray this page will be seeing a little more of [me].

 

-Kbeautifulmind

Just a call away

I know you’re somewhere near, the birds chirp, I hear you here.

Your love fulfills me still, I feel your warm embrace, nonetheless it’s imperceptible.

To look for you, is what you said, “you need me, I’ll be there.”

I believe it, but at time’s I’m not too confident.

I pray to you today, but just like god, sometimes I question if you could hear me anyway…

Then something shows me that you can, situations resolve, opportunities present, and thats when I know, that was from my angel, heaven sent.

I know you’re somewhere near, but your not present here.

The void is present still, it lingers in the air.

That feeling in the gut, I hear about other deaths, and I still resígnate.

I don’t mean to make it about me, but dam it, I still miss my best friend.

Recovery is still miles away…

I can’t let go, the pain haunts me in the flesh.

I need to hear your voice, advice and punishments.

Or just a simple joke, laughing without withholding tears and feeling any pain.

Oh what I would do, for an annoying call from you, I’d love to role my eyes because the ringing won’t barricade.

Give you some attitude because you won’t stop questioning.

“How are you? How do you feel?”

Always wondering if I had ate.

The simplicity and sincerity behind those concerns, why didn’t I appreciate?

I know you’re somewhere near, yet, I wish you were just a call away.

Kbeautifulmind